I firmly believe, as every truly decent cat ought, that we are naturally superior to all other animals. We are naturally, more brave, elegant, athletic and refined than our friends of other species. As such it is often our duty to take care of and watch over lesser animals in need of our assistance. I know that I am not alone amongst our civilized race in taking on a human pet. And yet, from time to time, it can be difficult even for our sophisticated intelligence to understand how to deal with such lovable, yet inferior species. I have had human pets for many years in many lives and I have started this project to offer advice to those cats who are new to owning and caring for human pets.
The first thing you should know about humans is that they like to think they own you. This is a largely harmless delusion as long as you don't let them get too carried away. Believing that they own you usually makes them rather desirous of pleasing you, which as you know is useful in pets. It is very rarely required to use claws on your pet human. If they should attempt to assert control over you a simple stare and refusal to do what they are asking usually reminds them who is in charge.
Human pets can be very demanding but they are also loyal and well trained ones are obedient and often very amusing. This column will contain anecdotes and advice on owning humans. This author, has found them to be very rewarding pets indeed. To preserve my anonymity, and allow me plausible deniability should my pets catch me online, I shall simply be called Miss Kitty. Considering that I am a very wise and kind-hearted cat I will also share tidbits of wisdom about life with you. It would be selfish of me to keep all my wisdom and refinements to myself. So, I will share profound truths about life and pet owning for the betterment of cats everywhere. I am at your service because it pleases me to be so.
Best of luck to you as you journey through life with your human pets.
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| On the internet they only know you're a cat if you get caught. - photo by Madder Hatter |
xx
Miss Kitty
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