The Bathing Ritual - Are Humans Really Clean?

"Cleaning" photo via Flickr by W.Ho's Photo?

Dear Readers,

We all know that cats are inherently clean, unlike certain unmentionable creatures that are sometimes called man's best friend.  But the real question is whether humans and their bathing habits are truly above reproach in the cleanliness area. 

So, as a naturally suspicious cat I like to supervise my human's bathing habits to ensure that she does in fact clean and make sure nothing attacks her when she is in the shower, you know, spiders, dogs, that sort of thing.  But I don't like to just barge in at her heels like a slobbering dog would do.  I like to be invited.  So I run to the door and then walk away til she closes it.  Then I politely ask to be invited in.  She sighs and asks "Well, do you want in or not?" And then I come in at a sedate pace like the gentile lady that I am.

"Just a Little Lick" photo by Madder Hatter

She bathes, with loads of water, frankly a barbaric custom if you ask me.  One of these days she will catch a cold.  While she douses herself with water I wait impatiently on the rugs til she finishes.  If I fear she has been in the water too long for her own good I start shouting at her to get out.  Then I encourage her to dry herself quickly by running to and from the door.  She thinks I want out and says she cannot open the door because she is not dressed.  Really I'm just concerned about her safety.  It's not healthy to stay wet all over for such lengths of time.  I'm just trying to speed things up for her own good.

I also usually give her a few licks on her legs and feet to make sure at least a small part of her has been properly cleaned not just sprinkled with water.  She squirms about when I do this.  Truly she is worse than a kitten.

But in the end we all end up toasty warm with a fuzzy blanket for the evening so I suppose I can overlook my pet's deplorable grasp of proper hygiene.  But if you have any suggestions for how to convince a human to stop watering herself please do let me know.

I am, as always, at your service because it pleases me to be so.

xx
Miss Kitty