My Poor Cat Door

Dear Readers,
I am almost afraid to write this to you because of how undignified it is.  I do not wish to shock your delicate ears or curl your elegant whiskers.  But I feel that I must share this shocking news with someone.

"Shadow Barking Through the Cat Door" - photo by Madder Hatter

My cat door has been violated.

By a dog!!!

It seems that the two blockheads discussed in my last post, (you can read it here), have stooped to new levels of disgrace.  They have sullied my beautiful and personal door to the outside world with their hideous muzzles.  Well, I shouldn't say they, exactly.  I've only caught one of them in this disgraceful pose, but I have no doubt the other has no scruples and would disgrace me in the same way if he had the chance.  The larger of the two blockheads throws himself at the floor and tries to squish as much of his gargantuan face through the cat door as possible.  He seems to view it as his personal window for barking at those who approach the kitchen door.

He SLOBBERS on MY threshold.  My personal door.  Ruined!!!  The horror of it!  The indignity of it!  You can imagine my horror when I saw this heinous performance.  He jowls bestowing liberal slobberous lubricants to my small doorframe.  The cat flap resting on the tip of his nose and leaping violently with every undignified and monstrous bark.  His eyes barely fitting into the frame peering out as though there was nothing more natural in the world than a giant hulking ogre of a beast attempting to squish his 93 pound body through a door meant for my slim and elegant form.  Are my sensibilities to be offended in every possible way!?!   I ask you, is there no end to their heinous behaviors?

"Cat Door or Dog Window?" - photo by Madder Hatter

I nearly fainted with the shock of such a hideous sight.  I do not blame you if you feel a faintness coming on either.  I wish I could tell you that I was joking, though I must say it would be a joke in very poor taste.  But alas, I cannot.  It is all too true.  These blockheads, these ogres, these Dogs must be taught their place and I can assure you that it is not with their heads protruding through MY door.  I must do something to reclaim it.

"The End of Order" - photo by Madder Hatter

Let this be a lesson to you.  Inviting dogs into your home for whatever reason only leads to strife and an appalling lack in cleanliness and order.  I know they are inferior creatures but I have to admit to having very uncharitable dreams about their sudden and convenient demise.  I have a few plots in mind for reclaiming my door; unfortunately they do not involve untimely departure from this world as it would only upset my human.  I do love her so.  But something must be done to curb the wicked ways of the dogs.  I am still pondering the best method of dealing with them and I welcome any suggestions from those felines more versed in dealing with malodorous and hideous beasts.


As always, I am at your service because it pleases me to be so.


xx
Miss Kitty